Turning point

so lately i have been feeling a little down, and wanting to kill myself but then i had 3 amazing people who opened my eyes and made me realize what i have and i shouldn't let little things ruin me or break me down. yea i know life is hard. just because things aren't going your way or if you made a big mistake that doesn't mean that you should cry over it and wanna kill yourself,you have to remember ur dreams and ur goals and want to fight harder to achieve them. killing yourself will only mean that you are letting them win and the devil will be happy so don't let it happen.Yesterday i was completely sure that i was done with life all because things were going wrong and i couldn't handle it, then i turned on joel and it made me realize that i shouldn't care about what people say or think about me. Even when they talk mess or put u down you should always put a smile on ur face and don't take things in to ur hands instead put them in gods hands because god is cooking up a big feast for you up in heaven and when the time is right he will want you to have what you want and he will want to thank you in front of those who were so evil, mean and people who put u down all these years. Yea i know i don't have much right now but one day i know that i will. Yea i know i wear the same clothes over and over again but one day i know that it will all change.Yea i know people talk mess but i would not take it in to my own hands i will put it in gods hands and let him work it out. God is my life, always and forever will be. He shows me the light everytime that i don't feel well or when i'm feeling weak. he is there to remind me that i'm young this is just a stage in my life that i have to over come to become stronger and a better person and running away wouldn't solve anything.it will only make the things that u are running away from still be there and you have to find a way to deal with them.New year is almost coming up and before it came i had to make a couple of changes by cutting out those who always made me come home crying, those who put me down, talk mess and those who really wasn't really my friends they were just there to watch me break down and smile about it. This new year i'm happy that i'm starting fresh and moving on with my life. i'm starting new no drama, no fakes , no mean people, no people who wanna put me down, or make me cry. hey i'm only 17 and this is a phase that i'm going through and as i get older my life will change cause i hold my own future in my hands. i don't let people label me i label myself what they say or think doesn't matter to me the only thing that matters to me is my family, my close friends and those who care about me. i know i'm going somewhere with my life and people see that so they try to push me and put me down as much as they can so i can't succeed in the future but i'm not going to let that happen. i'm in a much better place no more sounding crazy and no more saying things that sound gay. just cause i don't dress like every single girl at my school and i choose to dress whatever cause school is school i'm there to learn not to get guys who are way too immature for me. I am Tina Okoli,17 y.o., Straight , single , putting all my faith in god and I DEFINE WHO I AM NOT YOU. IT'S EITHER YOU LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM OR YOU LEAVE ME ALONE. SIMPLE AS THAT.